


my peace has always depended on all the ashes in my way

by GayMothman (GhostQueen)



Series: don't you ever tame your demons (but always keep them on a leash) [1]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Red Robin (Comics)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bittersweet Ending, Canon Rewrite, Deal with a Devil, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Past Stephanie Brown/Tim Drake, minor Tim Drake/Lynx III, no editing we die like robins, ra's is an asshole but tim is used to it at this point
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-25
Updated: 2019-08-25
Packaged: 2020-09-26 05:43:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20384623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GhostQueen/pseuds/GayMothman
Summary: Ra’s al Ghul was not a man to be underestimated. Tim knew that, but when that same man was also the only person in the world who believed him? Well, desperate times call for desperate measures.But what did Tim really have left to lose? Dick called him crazy and gave Robin to an entitled brat, his friends didn't believe him, Conner and Bart were dead, Stephanie betrayed his trust, and Bruce wasn’t around to keep him steady. All he had left were his morals and even those were becoming dubious at best.With a heavy heart, he made the deal._Alternatively: A re-write of the Red Robin comics delving into an AU where Tim and Ra's made a different deal in exchange for the resources necessary to find proof that Bruce was still alive.





	my peace has always depended on all the ashes in my way

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [End Like This](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16288253) by [ArtistAtHeart1](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArtistAtHeart1/pseuds/ArtistAtHeart1). 
  * Inspired by [Within a Second (Everything Changes)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18159536) by [Poetiicdissonance](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Poetiicdissonance/pseuds/Poetiicdissonance). 

> hhhh ok there are a lot of points in this that are just direct quotes/scenes from the red robin comics but rewritten to fit my purposes, but the very last section is all me. also i just really liked the idea of tim making a deal with ra's when he's in a really bad place and having to deal with the consequences when he's in a good place again. 
> 
> also tim drake is not heterosexual despite the way he acts in this fic. he is bisexual and that's the tea.

Ra’s al Ghul was not a man to be underestimated. Tim knew that, but when that same man was also the only person in the world who believed him? Well, desperate times call for desperate measures. 

“I’ve been watching you,” Ra’s sounded overly pleased with himself, as if he already knew how the events after would follow, “Whatever it is that happened to Batman, it’s obvious you do not believe it. And while you have all of Bruce Wayne’s money and your own impressive intellect… I can offer you so much more. A worldwide network of informants, resources beyond anything you could imagine, and the ability to get anything you need, legal or otherwise.” 

It was too good to be true and it was, “Help like this doesn’t come without a price. What do you want in return?”

Tim could almost hear the smug grin in Ra’s voice, “What are you willing to give?”

It was a loaded question. Tim knew that this may be his only chance at progressing his investigation, but that didn’t matter. 

What did Tim really have left to lose? Dick called him crazy and gave Robin to an entitled brat, his friends didn’t believe him, Conner and Bart were dead, Stephanie betrayed his trust, and Bruce wasn’t around to keep him steady. All he had left were his morals and even those were becoming dubious at best. 

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He let it out slowly, “Anything you want.”

“And if I want you?”

A pause.

“You can have that too. In whatever capacity you deem fit,” Tim realized this was a dangerous offer to give to Ra’s. He might end up as an assassin, a slave, a consort, an heir, or any number of possibilities, but that wouldn’t matter. As long as he got Bruce back.

“Ah, yes, I think that will do,” there was unmistakeable satisfaction in his voice, “Zeddmore, Owens, and Prudence will join you shortly. Play nice.”

That seemed to be the end of the conversation, but Tim couldn’t help but feel that he just sold his soul to the devil. 

-

The team of assassins he’d been handed seemed to grow on him as time went on. He’d even consider them his friends. Tim had to admit that it was… nice to be part of a team again.

He supposed it made sense that his first kill would be to defend his team from an unknown assailant. He’s not even sure what alerted him to the presence of the Council of Spiders assassin.

All he knew was that one second he was shoving Z aside and the next second there was a dead body on the ground with a neck that was twisted unnaturally. 

Tim could only stare blankly at what he’d done. 

He heard that a person is never the same after their first kill, but Tim didn’t feel any different. Maybe he’d just figured out that justice isn’t as black and white as Bruce so desperately wanted it to be. 

But he didn’t regret it. Nothing would hurt his team, not if he could help it.

“Did you find what you were looking for, Timothy?” Ra’s’ voice sounded from the headset, Tim raised his head to look at the other three, each looking at him with a small degree of shock, “Timothy?” He decided to skip over what sounded almost like concern. 

Tim smiled at his teammates and raised his hand to the headset to respond, “Yeah, I think I did,” the smile faltered when he remembered who had almost killed them, “But I think we have other issues now.”

Assassins killing assassins, who would’ve thought?

-

After they got back to base, word had gotten around that Tim had struck the killing blow that took out a member of the council. The general consensus awarded him with looks of approval and respect from the league. Ra’s, in particular, had looked quite pleased in the deterioration of Tim’s moral compass. 

The Council of Spiders had been killing members of the League of Assassins for sport and have completed twelve hits to date. No witnesses had been left, until now. Tim’s increasingly less worried about the morality of killing, if it meant anyone on his team wouldn’t be just another victim. 

No, this was war and Ra’s al Ghul had declared Tim the general. If the world was truly black and white, Tim would be fully operating in the dark gray area. That was what Ra’s al Ghul was. Seduction. Corruption.

He distantly wondered what Bruce would do, but Bruce wouldn’t let himself fall this far. 

Well, it was too late to turn back now. 

So, he got to work tracking down the locations of Council of Spiders affiliates. Tim had briefly entertained the idea of taking down the League as well as the Council, but given that he had already sold his soul, it didn’t seem worth it in the long run. During any downtime he had, he’d been training with the League, learning lethal weapons and techniques. In order to take down the council, he’d need to learn more than to just subdue. 

He learned a couple things about the league along the way. For instance, most of the ninjas acted as killers for hire, racking up about a hundred kills each month. The league is very particular about which contracts they carry out and it runs almost like a business.

Turning off the part of his brain that recognized that these were assassins, he could think of a hundred different ways to improve their business model.

The League also didn’t seem to pay taxes. Huh.

-

Tim had the proof that Bruce was lost in time and not dead. All that was left was getting him back. Ra’s let Tim go back to Gotham. At least for now; until it was time to collect on his end of the deal. Whenever that would be. Still, Tim was made gravely aware of where his allegiance would have to lie should an untimely confrontation with his former-coworkers and the league ensue. 

But instead of moping away his remaining time, he decided to get back to work as best he could. His first takedown back in Gotham was Killer Moth dressed like an 80’s disaster, with a clashing combination of neon green, orange, and yellow. There was something off about Killer Moth, something to look into later, but he had to make this quick to avoid interaction with other bats. 

Killer Moth was desperate and desperate men had proved to be dangerous in Tim’s experience.

As a last ditch attempt, Killer Moth tried to run, or rather fly, away. Tim couldn’t fly, a problem he should really fix one of these days, but today was not that day. He pulled out a grappling hook and shot it at the retreating figure, dragging him back down to the ground and proceeding to tie him up. Despite his time following the League’s code, there really was no point in killing someone over a flimsy bank robbery, especially if there’s still information to be gained. 

“Freeze!”

Ah. the GCPD were finally here. Time to bail. 

It was good to be back. 

If only they would stop confusing him with Dr. Mid-Night.

-

It doesn’t matter. None of that mattered now that he knows. Bruce Wayne is alive. Bart is alive. 

And so is Conner.

Tim’s smiled at the boy that just landed in front of him, “I… You were dead. Bart was dead. You don’t know what it was like…” now it wavered a little, but it quickly came back full force, “And now you’re back.” No matter how Tim was feeling or what will happen down the line, he couldn’t help himself. He reached out and pulled Conner into a hug.

“Uh, I know,” Conner hesitantly hugged back, “And so did you.”

Tim pulled away, “I knew that you were back, that Bart was back…” Tim pulled off his cowl, “But it happened so fast. I never… let it soak in. When I found out… I was in a bad place.” 

“And now?”

Tim smiled at the thought of his team, Pru, Z, and Owens, and what they found together while he was away, “Now… now I’m in a good place.” He knew that Conner wouldn’t approve, but he didn’t need him to approve, Tim just needed him to be alive. 

He saw the suspicion in Conner’s eyes, “You found something didn’t you?”

Offering a small shrug, Tim honestly replied, “Let’s just say… I’m getting there.”

Conner smiled, “How can I help?”

Truthfully, Tim didn’t need his help, “I still have a couple things to take care of,” and a deal with the devil to fulfill, “I’ll let you know,” Though, he had no intention of ever letting him know.

But that seemed to be good enough for Connor, because the man nodded and made to take off, “Good, because we miss you. Cassie, Bart… We all miss you, Tim” They had no idea what was coming and they were better for it, “If you need me, just yell. I’ll be listening.”

And with that, the other boy took off. 

This was a good moment. All Tim wanted was to live in this moment a bit longer. 

“Hello, Timothy,” Tim’s headset sprung to life.

Moment over. Thanks Ra’s al Ghul. 

-

Aside from now having to deal with Thomas Elliot trying to take control of Wayne Enterprises, Tim now has to deal with Vicky Vale. Silly him for thinking that joining the League of Assassins would get the press off his back. 

Unfortunately, to keep his current cover he would need to co-operate with the bats, including Stephanie, who recently donned the mantle of Batgirl. 

God, he missed her. 

He found her on a rooftop that was on her patrol route. 

“Hey,” He dropped down next to her, not sure what else to say.

She turned to him in a fit of rage, “‘Hey’?!That’s all you have to say after being gone for weeks? Doing who-knows-what?” She punched him in the chest, not hard enough to bruise, but just enough to hurt, “Well, sorry, Tim, but ‘Hey’ isn’t good enough!” She crossed her arms, still angry, but more levelheaded than before, with a touch of concern, “You’re all dark and brooding, but you take off for weeks without anyone knowing where you were. Who are you?” She threw up her hands and turned around, “And to think I was worried about you! We all were…” 

Once she seemed to be done ranting, Tim thought he could get a word in, “You’re right.”

Steph abruptly turned back around, finger pointed in his face, “And another thing— wait, what?” Her posture seemed to deflate. 

Tim nodded, “You’re right about everything. I was in a bad place and I took off without saying goodbye, but I’m in a better place now,” Though not one Steph would agree with, “I treated you horribly, I know, and I’m sorry,” He decided not to bring up her ‘death’, “We both made mistakes, but maybe now’s the time for us to start over,” he paused, “As friends, I mean,” he amended.

Giving a considering look, Steph nodded, “Yeah. Maybe you’re right. What do you say, ex-boyfriend wonder? Friends?” She held out her hand to shake.

Tim smiled, “Friends.” And he would try to keep her friendship as long as it would last. 

Hopefully this time around he wouldn’t get hit in the face with a brick. 

-

“Wind’s from the northeast. About 10 miles per hour,” Tim was adjusting his grappling hook. 

“Fifteen to twenty kilometers per hour, taking gusts into account, which you didn’t,” Damien was next to him, also adjusting his own grappling hook. But Tim had to admit that the meter system was probably more practical. 

“Guys…” Dick seemed like he just wanted to avoid another spat, “… Let’s just try to have some fun, okay.”

Those words coming out of Batman’s mouth felt right, even if Damien was Robin. Dick did what Tim thought would be impossible, he put on Batman’s cowl without getting lost in the shadows. 

Now that everyone believed that Bruce Wayne was alive and was working to find him, Tim didn’t feel quite as alone anymore. All that was left was figuring out how he wanted it all to work. 

Without another thought he swung out in the direction of where Lynx was reported to be, separating from the group. 

Gangs were relatively low on his radar, but somewhat high on the Bats radar, so if he was going to work with them, it was probably best to go after Lynx, leader of the Golden Dragons. 

It totally had nothing to do with the fact that she was super hot.

-

“I expected when I came back you’d be busy keeping everyone locked up… not letting them out,” Batman picked now of all times to appear beside Tim.

Right after Tim finished making out with the escaped convict he just sprung. 

Ignoring that, for all the world, he was just happy beyond words that Bruce was alive, but Tim had gotten so used to laying guilt trips and second-guessing on his own that he almost forgot what it was like to get them from him, the original Batman.

With a hint of a smile, Bruce grunted and pulled off his cowl, “You know, I realized… with everything that’s going on, we forgot one thing.”

Tim blinked up in confusion and pulled back his cowl as well, “What?”

Bruce opened his arms for a hug and Tim couldn’t help but fall into them. Just this once, everything seemed like it was going to be okay.

When Bruce finally pulled back, he laid a hand on Tim’s shoulder, “Who’s this girl you just released from prison?” He finished pulling away and went to put his cowl back on. 

Tim did the same, “A new Lynx. And she might be an undercover cop from Hong Kong,” a short pause, “Or she might not. It’s complicated.”

Bruce grunted, “Later we can talk about how I’ve dealt with Selina Kyle all these years,” He pulled out his grappling gun, “But for now… Let’s just have some fun.”

Pulling out his as well, they swung off into the night. 

Tim smiled to himself. Bruce had done exactly what Tim had hoped he would do; he came back energized, humanized, and ready to put the cowl back on without succumbing to the darkness.

It felt good; more than that, it felt right.

-

Everything was finally starting to go back to normal. Dick believed in him again, Damian now rightfully deserved the title of Robin, Conner was alive, Bart was alive, Stephanie was his friend again, and Bruce was alive. 

Of course that was when everything had to come crashing down around him.

They had all been in the cave, about to leave for patrol when the power cut out, leaving the room in pitch black darkness. 

“Welcome back, Detective.”

The lights came back on and Ra’s al Ghul, of all people, had emerged from the shadows.

Tim’s blood ran cold.

“Ra’s,” Bruce growled, “What are you doing here?” He stepped forward as if to shield Damian from his grandfather. 

Noticing this, Ra’s gave a short chuckle, “Don’t you worry. I’m not here for my pitiful excuse for a grandson,” the boy in question flinched at the insult, but Ra’s paid it no mind instead choosing to focus solely on Tim,“Rather I’m here to collect on my end of a bargain. Isn’t that right, Timothy?”

Every eye seemed to turn to look at Tim. Except Bruce’s, which were still drilling holes into Ra’s skull. Without breaking his glare, he asked, “Tim, what his he talking about?”

Tim felt as if his throat had dried up and died. 

Ra’s raised his eyebrow at him, “Well, the young detective was desperate for help in his investigation into your disappearance. Unfortunately, no one would believe him,” Dick looked down in guilt, “So, I stepped forward to offer my resources to the boy,” the Demon’s Head smirked smugly at his audience, “And to my delight, he accepted.”

Bruce finally broke eye contact to look at Tim in horror, “Tim, what did you do?”

Tim swallowed. A deal was a deal. He looked at Bruce with a bittersweet smile, “In return for the resources necessary to prove you were lost in time, I pledged my allegiance to the League of Assassins.”

There seemed to be an unanimous quick intake of breath. It would almost be funny, if his life wasn’t falling apart before his eyes. 

“Tim, there must have been a better way!” Dick sounded incredulous to the idea that his brother would even think of teaming up with the enemy. 

However, Tim knew it was never that simple, “There was no better way! I exhausted all my own resources and no one else believed me! I had nothing to lose back then, Dick. Can’t you see that?” 

A slight pause, “Back then?”

“What?”

Dick looked him in the eyes, something akin to remorse in his gaze, “You said you had nothing left to lose back then. What about now?”

Tim’s eyes flickered down and then back up, “Now, I must reap what I’ve sown.” 

“Yes,” Ra’s drew the attention back to himself, “Dear Timothy shall be my heir and, in time, the next Demon Head.”

Well, that was news to Tim, but at least it was better than being a slave or a host body. Or consort. 

Damian loudly scoffed, “Drake? What makes him worthy of being your heir? I’m your true blood!”

Ra’s faint smile dropped as he glared at his grandson, “You’re nothing but a bastard, insolent boy, but Timothy displays all the traits necessary to be my successor. He found the Batman, did he not? On nothing but a hunch?”

In that moment, Tim actually felt a bit of pity for Damian. In a strange twist of events, Damian finally understood how it felt to have a title be suddenly ripped away from him and replaced. 

Barely hiding a finch at the words, Damian tried to keep his annoyed exterior, “Fine, but Drake? I doubt he could stomach the idea of killing anyone,” It sounded like an insult on the surface, but they all knew better. He was defending Tim’s morals, or rather, what was left of them. 

Ra’s smile returned, one that told others in the room that he knew more than them, “Oh, dear grandson, couldn’t he?”

You could hear a pin drop as everyone processed the implication of what Ra’s had said. 

Damian shook his head and suddenly charged forward with his sword drawn at Ra’s, “No! That does not matter; I refuse to allow Drake to fall into the grasp of the League.” 

Bruce would probably be proud of Damian’s change of heart, if it wasn’t for the situation at hand. 

Ra’s just looked amused. Asshole.

Tim sighed calmly and walked to stand in front of Damian, laying his hand on the hand holding the sword, gently pushing it down, “Thank you,” He started honestly, “But it’s unnecessary,” retracting his hand, he looked up at his family, “I’m not the same person I was before I went away. I’ve made some hard decisions, but I stand by them.”

“We’ll have to take you down,” Bruce sounded remorseful, but still factual.

Tim gave a sad smile, “And I’ll look forward to it,” Somehow, those words had never felt more final.

“Timothy,” Tim turned towards Ra’s, “I believe it is time for us to take our leave.”

“Yes,” he swallowed, “I suppose you’re right.”

The lights cut out again. 

By the time they came back on, Tim and Ra’s al Ghul were gone. 


End file.
